The Fine Art of Disappointment
“The older I get, the more convinced I become that it’s a critical life-skill - at least if you’re roughly the sort of person I am - to get better at disappointing other people.” -Oliver Burkeman
Really, that sentence says everything that I want to say in this post and I should probably just leave it at that. However, I will persevere, because - GET THIS - I don’t want to disappoint you, gentle reader. You have presumably clicked through hoping to read something and I would like to deliver it to you. Here goes!
Like so many things on the Internet, I have no idea what this means, but I think it’s funny.
It’s easy, at least for me, to worry about disappointing students or prospective students since the Alexander Technique can be difficult to grasp. I was absolutely delighted to meet a couple of new people recently who asked what I did and then said, yes, of course, I’ve heard of that, wasn’t [mutual acquaintance] just talking about that? I usually have to explain what AT is in one or two sentences and then I wonder if people have mentally put it into the “weird bodywork” category and will never think of it again. It’s frustrating that our practice has not seemed to gain much recognition in the (almost) 30 years that I’ve been involved with it.
I also tell people that I can’t ‘fix’ them, which is almost certain to be a disappointment. I follow that up by saying that I can help. After a few lessons, I feel like I can tell them the actual rest of the sentence: I can’t fix you, but you can. That, for me, is right up there with F.M.’s quote, “The right thing does itself.” If you say that to someone with no experience of the Alexander Technique, especially someone who’s in pain, they will likely inform you in no uncertain terms that the right thing is ABSOLUTELY NOT doing itself at the moment. The rest of that sentence, however, is important, “If you stop doing the wrong thing, the right thing does itself.” As a teacher, finding the people who think this is interesting rather than incomprehensible becomes a key part of building a practice.
Elsewhere in his essay, Burkeman uses the phrase “insecure overachievers”. That definitely describes me, and more than a few AT teachers I know, and possibly some of you as well. If you would like to stop tying yourself in knots about potentially disappointing other people (or yourself!), well, the Alexander Technique can’t fix you, but it might be able to help.
Mildly disappointing, but still lovely, sunset. Washington Park Boat Launch, Anacortes, WA
