Authentic Change
“The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.
The previous sentence makes sense.
That is not the problem.
This is:
Change.
Read it through again and you’ll get it.”
-Douglas Adams, So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
The ocean is the best example of constant change with unwavering authenticity that I could think of. Iceberg Point, Lopez Island, WA
It does happen that sometimes people come to take Alexander Technique lessons and they don’t like the experience. I’ve heard several reasons given for why someone doesn’t plan to come back after a lesson or two, and the one I want to talk about is change - usually the issue is that the person feels like they are changing in one way or another and that feels uncomfortable or even frightening.
AT is all about change. We are looking at changing habits, changing how someone moves or sits or walks, changing their thought processes about their body, and so on. I don’t advertise lessons by saying “You Will Change!!!” but part of my description of the Technique includes phrases like ‘we will take a look at your habits as you move and see if your old habits can be replaced with new ideas about moving more freely and easily’. Many people want to change (fix) their posture or change (improve or get rid of) their chronic pain. The problem is - or rather one of the problems, haha - that in Alexander lessons we are also hoping to change how we think about movement, how we think about the body, how we think about effort and goals and discipline and boundaries and taking up space in the world. Those are big thoughts and it can be scary to give yourself the option of slowing down or restating a goal or having a different timeline than what you planned on.
I described myself as an intense, driven, Type A personality for many years; as a piano teacher I hated taking days off and would show up for a performance commitment even if I was sick. I also wanted to make sure people knew how anxious and worried I was about solving problems or achieving a certain outcome. Look how hard I am working! Can’t you see how stressed I am and how important this is to me? Out of my way!
This is, I think, where authenticity comes in - I still work hard to honor any commitments I’ve made and I take time to be prepared for classes or rehearsals or meetings, but I’ve learned more about how I want to spend my time and energy and how to prioritize my mental and physical health when working with others. I can actually say NO to requests and have developed some ability to decide whether I am being asked to solve a problem or just listen. I think I am still intense and driven! But I hope that I comes across as caring and invested instead of anxious and worried.
Given the quote that I started with, I thought a fish would be appropriate. This one lives at the Biopark in Albuquerque, NM.
Deny, Delay, Disengage
I taught my first Introduction to Alexander Technique class for the Anacortes Senior College on Tuesday and had a wonderful time talking about chairs, necks, ankles, sitting bones, breathing, and noticing where your feet are! It occurred to me on the way over to teach that anyone who showed up (for any of the classes) was going to be taking themselves out of the 24-hour news cycle for a bit as well as meeting people and learning something new…which really applied to me as I was desperate to get away from checking the latest updates by then. I’ve been trying hard to monitor my Internet use in the last couple of days (with occasional success) and so here are some thoughts about that.
Opal does not want to read the news right now.
Don’t Deny what is going on in our country. Stay informed in small doses, maybe set certain times a day to look at the latest updates while realizing that things are moving so fast that the situation might change while you’re reacting to it and thinking about what to do or say. However -
Don’t Delay making a phone call or a post, but choose one or two areas that are very important to you and limit your reactions, phone calls to elected officials, and posting, to those areas. Trying to react to and post about everything will wear you out and that level of engagement is not sustainable, especially not for four years. And then -
Nora would also prefer to not be informed of current events.
Do Disengage. Make the phone calls or posts, work on a plan with family or friends if you need to, put items on your calendar or take notes on your next round of actions, and then stop for a while. Take a walk, play with pets, meet your neighbors, volunteer if you can (I am volunteering with two local non-political organizations and they are a great source of grounding and looking at the big picture) and consider learning something new. Alexander Technique has been a wonderful tool to help with self-regulating and noticing tension and reactionary habits so of course I am a big fan of it, but you might have another practice that can help you get out of the endless spiral and back into your body for a few minutes.
Good luck and stay safe out there.
Proof that I went for a walk this week!
New Year, Complicated You
Trying to write about anything related to the human body seems especially fraught at the beginning of the year. We are all supposed to be re-inventing ourselves; more gym, less alcohol, better choices, new planner, improving yourself with a retreat or workshop. I thought I would write a bit about how I de-invented myself, instead.
I’ll keep the story short. My father passed away unexpectedly in November 2019 and I became the primary caregiver/care overseer for my mother. COVID-19 hit Oklahoma in March 2020 and my mother went from assisted living to long-term care in June 2020. Navigating health care for another person during lockdown was overwhelming; we could visit her in person but only outside, masked, and six feet apart, and I could not accompany her to her medical appointments. She passed away in February 2021, before the vaccine was widely available. I finished my spring semester 2021 remote-learning class piano class in May 2021 and informed the college that I would not be back in the fall. After almost 25 years as a piano teacher and 10+ years as a caregiver with increasing responsibilities over that time, I wasn’t sure who I was but I knew I wanted to try something different.
Resilience is a wonderful thing but it is HARD sometimes. This was in front of my parents’ old house, taken after another round of cleaning and sorting their things.
Despite the stress, worry, and frustration of lockdown, there were some things I really missed - sitting on the porch watching birds, going for walks and hikes, and an occasional sense that people were more willing to give each other some grace and a little extra time. I have been teaching Alexander Technique since 2001 but it has always been scheduled around my piano teaching, and I wanted to focus on it more because I felt that AT would bring some of those qualities of having extra time and space to our post-lockdown world. Hands-on experiences and working with touch also seemed to be important after COVID isolation and living online for so long. I found a studio to rent in the fall of 2021 and have been working to keep that practice going safely, including masking and communicating about what students needed to feel comfortable. I always feel better after teaching and I wanted to make that experience available for others to slow down and find space for themselves.
This mother robin made a next a few feet from our porch and we watched the babies grow up over a couple of months in the spring of 2020.
So, this is my modest contribution to the “wellness wave” that hits us all at the beginning of each calendar year. Your body is your body, living and moving can be easier and freer if you want it to be, extra time and space is available both mentally and physically, and Alexander Technique will meet you where you are right at this moment. I hope you will give it a try.
Slowly Collapsing To The Right
My first problems with tendinitis started in high school - in my right wrist, from playing the piano. Since then, every time I’ve had trouble with pain it has been on my right side. Right forearm, two years ago…I think I strained it and then it just got worse for a month or so, and it didn’t help that I went to an intensive weeklong glassblowing workshop during that month. At the moment it’s my right hip and IT band, which seems linked to my right lower back. I’ve been working on my lower back since 1997 as it desperately wants to arch forward no matter what I’m doing, and I think I have finally sorted some things out but it means that my right hip is picking up some slack that my lower back has decided not to do anymore and it’s cranky. Doesn’t everyone anthropomorphize their body parts? Is that an oxymoron???
Speaking of hips and backs, these two love to lay on me for hours at night, and with about 21 pounds of cat distributed on my legs and torso, things tend to cramp up after a while 😕
I notice myself leaning to the right whenever I’m sitting in the driver’s seat in a car - resting my left arm on the window feels wrong but leaning on the (much lower) console to the right is perfect. I’m sitting in a sort of modern armchair while typing this and noticing a general trend to the right. I think humans like to believe that we’re symmetrical and it’s very rarely the case in my experience. The problem, at least from an Alexander point of view, is that it’s not as simple as just leaning to the other side. Collapsing to the left will just create new issues - it might be an interesting case study, but it won’t solve anything.
For me, the answer lies in the right side of my torso, and please note that I have not and am currently not having any pain at all there. The right side, between my hip and my shoulder, just seems to want to curve and shorten a little. Not a lot! But I believe that the initial wrist problem came from pushing down my right shoulder…pianists are sometimes told to “get into the keys” for a bigger sound and I probably took that a bit too literally. Pushing down the shoulder increased pressure on the wrist. Just as curving to the left is not the answer, lifting the right shoulder isn’t the answer either. I try to catch myself when I lean to the right and then I think about having a nice expanded torso (on both sides!), and encourage that expansion with some conscious breathing, and keep the thought of expansion going through the exhale so that there isn’t another round of collapse as the air goes out. NOT bracing and holding the shape of the ribs - enjoying the thought of having all the space I need to let all the organs do their job. Thinking up and wide and forward, in Alexander-speak.
Just a note to say that this is NOT what I mean when I say up and wide and forward!
This is a somewhat complicated and advanced look at how Alexander Technique works, in this case, for me. It’s meant to give some insight at how I am working on solving some issues and I am not expecting everything I said to make sense immediately to a casual reader. That said, this is the sort of thing that drew me into the Technique in the first place - the idea that bodies are complicated and there’s a lot going on but discovering how all the connections work can be *fascinating* and worthy of lifelong study. There are no quick fixes here but if this sounds interesting, I can almost guarantee that it will be worth the journey.
How To Sit With Your Feelings
In loving memory of Euclide Howard LeLeux, 1928-2019, and Elizabeth May Donnelly LeLeux, 1929-2021
Gather some supplies. These might include: tissues, tea or water, a pillow or a stuffed animal, a blanket. Then sit. Sit anywhere - chair, couch, tree, rock, beach, floor. Take a moment to notice where your body is contacting your surroundings. Your feet, your sitting bones, your back, your hands. Imagine that the chair is holding you, that the tree is supporting you.
You may or may not be comfortable.
Now let yourself start to feel, to remember the thing you’ve been trying so hard not to think about. Notice where it starts; the lump in the throat, the twist in the belly. Name the feeling - anger, sadness, rage, despair.
Realize that the rock or the couch is still supporting you and experience that contact.
Breathe. Cry. Scream into the pillow. Throw a beach rock into the water. Hug your stuffed animal.
The floor is still holding you up, reestablish that contact.
Yell and breathe and throw things.
Blow your nose, drink some water. Stretch. Be in your body for a few more minutes, even if you don’t want to, and continue to be supported. Consider how you feel: drained, wrung out, empty, surviving. Wrap yourself up in the blanket or hug your tree. Look around at the space you held for yourself.
You don’t need to be grateful. How can you be grateful for this thing that happened? But you can thank yourself for this time that you had. Maybe you’ll write or make art, or be in this same space with someone else one day. Right now you just have to be who you are.
Mundancity: Chores as Self Care
(I mistyped “mundane” as “mundance” two or three times while writing this, and I kind of love the idea of chores being a dance, so please enjoy my new word.)
Image from https://www.jeremywinslife.com/cartoons
The cartoons and posts that I’ve shared here have been popping up on my social media lately so either there’s a general movement to promote the appreciation of these little mundane moments or Meta knows me really well. I suspect the latter, but the funny thing is that the algorithm hasn’t yet figured out that I have no intention of buying any of the various “self care” products, trips, or experiences that come across my screen. It’s not that I wouldn’t love a women’s-only retreat in a salt cave next to a hot spring - or maybe a hot cave next to a salt spring? - it’s just that the chores are still going to be there when I get back.
I don’t enjoy doing dishes, or doing the laundry. I do, however, love having clean towels and plates. I’ve been trying to incorporate some Alexander Technique thinking into the pursuit of cleanliness lately for two reasons: one, I’m old enough that an abrupt twist and bend from the sink to the dishwasher is likely to cause distress somewhere, and two, because it’s a really great opportunity to connect your feet to the floor and think about what your shoulders are doing. Therefore, here are some ideas about making your peace with sink height, vacuum trajectories, and laundry weight.
Dishes: There are two ways to get yourself to the height of the sink: only bending forward at the hips, or bending the knees forward and the hips back at roughly the same (shallow) angle. I recommend the latter as I’m sure everyone has plenty of experience with the former. Try a little shallow bend without dishes in hand and then try a deeper bend in the direction of the dishwasher if you have one - consider turning your feet to face the dishwasher before bending instead of twisting like a discus thrower. Stand up periodically while actually tackling the dishes and walk around a bit if needed. Your back will thank you and not rushing through clearing the sink will help to save your crockery from disaster.
Vacuuming: This is basically a series of lunges if you think about it - usually the back foot stays planted while the front foot lifts and moves forward. Again, try this without the vacuum cleaner first and notice that your balance is likely to be more stable if your feet are not in a straight line. Congratulate yourself on having done some exercise for the day! With the vacuum cleaner in hand, resist the urge to step wayyyyyy forward to get it done quicker. Switch up the front and back feet if you can. Boogie a little to keep your hips loose. If you are going under furniture, consider just getting down on the floor or sitting on a low stool or pillow instead of losing your balance in a weird half-squat and ending up on the floor anyway.
Laundry: I have a stacked washer/dryer setup with the washer on the bottom. Wet clothes are heavy and if the dryer door starts to close on you, you might add a concussion to the mix if you’re not careful. If you think about the full movement of bending down, reaching forward, straightening up with extra weight, and then either lifting the wet clothes to about neck height (in my case) or turning to the side to throw them in the dryer, that is a RIDICULOUS movement sequence and one you wouldn’t do in the gym first thing in the morning. This is a great space for experimentation: maybe wet clothes go in a basket and then the basket goes to the dryer. Or the basket of clothes gets lifted off the floor if there’s somewhere to put it near the head-height dryer. Try squats if you can, bending both hips and knees, or something to sit on. Or you can pick up a few things at a time and appreciate your clothes as they pass through your hands: your functioning pairs of socks, your cozy go-to clothes, and your extra fancy or colorful things that were so much fun to wear to a special event last week.
Image from: maudiemoods on tumblr.com
Finally! Something else I see floating around the Internets is the idea of doing something “for future you”. This can apply (and sell plenty of books and online courses) to exercise, financial planning, marketing and business, and lots of other practical endeavors. At its simplest, though, you can give future you a clean T-shirt AND spend some time thinking about the best way to move through the process. Future you will thank you!
Embracing the Slow Burn
Strength training has done wonders for my hiking! Washington Park, Anacortes, WA
When thinking about strength training in conjunction with Alexander Technique, I am usually focusing on only working the muscles that are intended to be worked. For example, not getting the neck involved in bicep curls, or not arching the lower back when doing overhead press. It’s easy to over-involve other body parts if your only goal is to sling the weights around, and staying aware of good use is tricky when working out isn’t your favorite thing and you just want to be done with it. However, if you are comfortable with mindfully multitasking your way through your workout and would like a new challenge, I have just the thing.
I have been working out with Coach Jessica Sprenkel since 2019, and have been able to continue on Zoom since we moved. She currently has us on a 6-week cycle of circuit training and weeks 1-3 are set up to use the same weight for increasing numbers of repetitions each week (8, 10, and 12 reps). Weeks 5-6 reduce the reps but increase the weight. And Week 4 is tempo week - deliberately slowing down the lowering or lengthening part of the move and keeping the lifting/contracting part at the normal speed. Jessica was kind enough to help me dig deeper about why she uses tempo workouts and why they are so effective!
There are different tempo variations out there but Coach Sprenkel has settled on 3:1 - in, say, a regular squat move, you would go down into the squat and come up out of it at about a 1:1 ratio, so both parts of the move happen at the same speed. With 3:1, you count 1-2-3 on the way down and then come up in a count of 1. So “down-2-3-up, down-2-3-up”. Why slow down in that part of the move? Sprenkel says, “It allows for isolated muscle work and increases time under tension. It's time under tension that contributes the most to muscle growth, and is more important in the eccentric [lowering] phase of the movement than the concentric [lifting].”
I also wondered about the timing of the tempo week - why week 4 instead of earlier or later? “Using it at the four week mark of a cycle gives 3 weeks of getting used to the movements without adding that extra think piece of tempo” (Mindful multitasking again!) “We try to only change one progressive overload each week…So we increase reps for the first three weeks…Then in the fifth week we keep reps low, go back to 1:1 tempo and suggest an increase in weight. In week 6 we encourage staying at the new higher weight and adding 2 reps.”
Having been in more than a few gyms where people celebrated the end of their circuits by throwing the weights on the floor, I’m already a big fan of anything that would encourage thoughtfulness in the weight room. I did a very quick Google search and it looks like there are some definite benefits to slower workouts:
Study with men and women aged 65+
However, I saw some comments about participants having a hard time sticking to the slower workouts, and Sprenkel agrees, saying that “I find most people don't love tempo work - too much thought / effort”. So, here, finally, is the chance for Alexander Technique teachers and students to make a name for ourselves! We are used to thinking in action and paying close attention to our movements; let’s embrace the slow tempo workout and astonish everyone with our amazing strength AND our ability to stay thoughtful all the way through.
Hiking photos are more pleasant to look at than photos of the gym. Snow Canyon State Park, Utah
The Joy of the Fear of Missing Out
Three weeks ago, I attended the first in-person Alexander Technique conference that AmSAT (our professional organization) has had since 2019. For the last 5 years, we’ve had online workshops and business meetings on Zoom, and I was very excited to reconnect with other AT teachers and teachers in training. However, the last 5 years have been…what they’ve been, and I have learned a lot about boundaries, how quickly I can move from ‘interested and engaged’ to ‘OVERWHELMED’, and how much quiet time I need. So, I gave myself permission to observe instead of actively participate in workshops or to leave an event early.
This worked extremely well…until we got to the business meeting. We have to have enough people present to make a quorum so that we can vote on any changes that need to be made within the organization, and I’ve always attended for this reason. For a while it looked like the voting would have to be postponed and sorted out later (somehow). Finally, though, we had enough people to vote and that part went relatively quickly and easily. It was now over 3 hours into the scheduled meeting time and I wanted to eat lunch. I had permission to leave early (see above) so I left and headed to the dining hall.
About five minutes later, I received a text from a friend saying that I had been awarded the Certificate of Merit for service to AmSAT, from when I was in charge of the biweekly association newsletters. There was a speech about me! People clapped! I missed the whole thing! HOWEVER. Being called up for recognition in front of your peers is a textbook definition of being overwhelmed and I was long past being interested and engaged in the meeting. AT has a lot to say about knowing your boundaries and your limits and I truly believe I made the right decision. Besides, getting to the dining hall before it became overrun with conference attendees was its own reward 💕
Sometimes you just need a sign…or three.
Proof of the existence of the certificate!